Stronger Than I Thought

Last night found me burning the midnight oil on a knitting project – staying up way too late. Yet, as is the case for me, knitting becomes a prayer as I hold dear ones in my heart. So it was a quiet evening of contemplation and meditation – a peaceful ending to a vigorous day. When I finally got to bed, the plan was to sleep in and have a restful, laid back Saturday.

It was a surprise then, to find myself wide awake much earlier than anticipated this morning  -  sensing a very clear invitation to rise and shine and get on down to the yoga studio first thing.

Here was a choice – stay under the covers or respond to the invitation. If I had been roused ten minutes later the choice would have been made for me– snuggle in and get some more shut eye. If I lived further away from the studio, I would have turned over – knowing that the timing wasn’t right-  and put the thought out of my mind. But, there was just enough time to get a move on. Just enough time….

As I slipped, last minute into the studio, it felt good to be there. But, once we got going, I had a feeling that I wasn’t up to the task. It was turning out to be a kick ass work out -way more than I thought I could muster up that early in the morning. I surrendered to child’s pose but then, heard the instructor say, “You’re stronger than you think you are….”

Really? All right – let’s see what possibility THAT invitation holds out for me.

Breathing into the next pose, fire in the belly stoked, rooting down to rise up, I was amazed at the strength that was demonstrated. Strength that I didn’t know was there. At the same time, it seemed fitting that as other poses presented themselves, modification was called for. This was, after all, MY practice.

Grateful, a scene from one of my favorite books – The Horse and His Boy, by C.S. Lewis came to mind:

…certainly, both horses were doing, if not all they could, all they thought they could; which is not quite the same thing…And Bree [one of the horses] now discovered that he had not really been going as fast – not quite as fast – as he could. Shasta [the rider] felt the change at once. Now they were really going all out….

You’re stronger than you think you are….

You’re stronger than you think you are…

As a recovering good church lady, here I am given pause to consider how I used to push myself beyond what was healthy –addicted to performance and people pleasing and giving in to that great motivator – guilt. I was in a place of doing. Always pushing. Doing. Doing. Exhausted. Life sucked out of me.

What makes the difference here? It’s in the breath. It’s in the invitation. It’s in the choices. It’s in the rooting down to rise up. It’s being open to possibility. It’s living into the question, “what brings you life?”

            What brings YOU life? Where might you discover that you are stronger than you think you are?